(Author Disclaimer: This post was authored using Tropical Astrology, and predates the transition to sidereal 13 signs Astrology)

Hello Lovelies, it is I, your Queerdo Astrologer with yet another monthly installment of your ASS-trology report for March. So kids this one is going to be a bumpy ride not unlike going through the Kuiper belt, a trans-Neptunian region of our solar system that can get mighty rocky, no pun intended.

Collectively we are still on the cosmic freeway on-ramp for the direct Uranus-Pluto square which goes live April 12^th. These are usually critical turning points, and catalytic flashpoints. The last time these two boys went head to head was during the Great Depression which signaled massive societal upheavals related to financial resources (basically the markets crashed, which was actually engineered by the central banks at the time, and the still existent Wall Street cartel).

I suspect given that the last squares that were made in our times coincided with Occupy and the Arab Spring we will again see similar movements emerge spontaneously, and with quite flare. Fire seems to be the theme, we may see more fiery uprisings, and technology will feature a prominent conduit for these developments. I dare say we may see some new emerging technologies become recast as social liberators. The theme will be creativity in motion as this is the Aries clarion call and that is what Uranus our techie wizard is currently wearing this season.

Much as Bronze age technologies were used to make jewelry at the time of their emergence before they were recast as weaponry. I am saying that any new technologies we see emerge will be used first to liberate individuals of oppressive regimes before they will be used as methods for controlling the populace, stay tuned…

As for March we can expect things to be shaping up to be a wild ride, I would liken it to a comet, flying through a nebulae at the moment a star is being born and firing up the fusion furnace that will fuel its life-force, while hovering damn near a singularity (black-hole), with a nice maraschino atomic cherry to top it all off.

So let us now navigate this wild party, which is more love-in than anything:

Planetary Express; Mercury Goes Direct  03/01/02014

I am sure we have all felt the pinch of the last six weeks. Cell-phones dropping calls, missed texts, impossible schedules, misunderstanding arising from an inability to state things clearly, garbled thoughts. Well it all comes to an end on March 1^st, when Mercury will station at 18 degrees Aquarius and then go direct, and in the sign of the vox populi no less, very auspicious! It will mean anything in the realm of technology and communications will go much smoother especially if you are trying to get a message to the masses. That said the lesson of any retrograde period is to review and revise so you can move forward knowing you fairly negotiated all the terms, in essence that you covered your ass.

Live Wire: Mars retrograde through Libra: 03/02/02014 (until 06/02/02014)

Passion of the other, your sweetie (if you have one) may be frisky over the next few months. Don’t be surprised if they start picking fights over unresolved resentments just so they can then have a hug that turns into fierce and passionate love-making, it tends to happen when Mars retrogrades and in the most diplomatic and partnership oriented of the signs. My wise counsel is to defer to others over the next period otherwise you may step on toes and it could end very poorly for all involved. People may be a little testy or passionate more so than usual as a force of nature is going through a sign known for civility. It has the added bonus of making agreements much easier to reach as people will be more active in coming to common ground. Mars is normally an aggressive and self-oriented guy but in Libra he becomes a real gentleman, cleans up nicely, and puts on a coat and tails, and is prepared to come to the table with a well thought out strategy, take advantage of this to come to terms with your beloveds and find workable arrangements. The buzzwords are: review and re-strategize, and keep your anger in check or it gets out of hand, and can really mess with your day.

Atomic Lust: Saturn retrogrades into Scorpio: 03/03/02014

Saturn can be a dour guy but it largely is just because he feels the weight of responsibility he has to carry, he is after all the force of the laws of nature. Sometimes he gets down, but if you give him a hug and pinch his bum he lights up like the North Star, and he can be quite a Prince. He is currently going into his depths to reflect upon all the molecular lusts we share in our inextricable link to each other, which is what Scorpio is all about. Whether we are contemplating the way we are all connected whether it be through the mechanics of viruses, or the social arrangements we have to make civil society possible, it is a good time to restructure anything intimate, deep, and interlinked whether it is the underlying structure of society or finding the courage to talk to your lover about all the sexy, dirty, and reptilian things you want to do with them when the clothes are off. It is all about what operating principles we use to be emotionally naked. This is prime time to figure out whether you can muster the courage to take that deep dive and explore new realities by showing your vulnerable edges, it is really about mastering the evolutionary process, and it takes surrender.

Polyamory Redux: Venus enters Aquarius: 03/06/02014

I adore when the lady of love enters the sign of my event horizon (rising sign), she is always playful and a bit slutty here and around these parts we celebrate the sacred slut (no slut shaming allowed). Her mind always falls into the issues of the masses in this placement, so don’t be surprised if you are wanting to connect with others in groups (you can read into that what you will). The lusty-love nature of Venus will shine through all of our group associations this month, we will find it easy to work in teams, and will want fewer one on one encounters as sometimes it is just more fun when a third tags along for the ride.  Play my lovelies, play, and don’t be so damned serious, this is a light-hearted Venus with a feather stroke, and remember to play both naughty and nice with each other, but remember to play!

Tropic of Cancer: Jupiter goes Direct: 03/06/02014

Jupiter is always an interesting case study. He is larger than life, will expand your horizons by sweeping you up in his optimism, and is fully of fire and passion. He is a really nice guy, he gives you the milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard. Now here is the thing he has been retrograde these last few weeks (and in opposition to brooding Pluto) in the sign of his exaltation so he is wearing Gucci loafers and a Prada slim-line suit, and they have been throwing one hell of a rager for him. That said he has been more pensive and reflective of late. If you have been drifting through your emotional depths and exploring the erotic darkness in the pregnant recesses of your imagination he is probably why. He goes direct now so you can begin to integrate the new capacities found in the dark convexes of your mind and heart and forge ahead with a purified emotional nature, and a much more rooted stance in your instincts (programmed responses). You’ll also have a better sense of where your boundaries are and how to hold them, call it the gifts of Jupiter in one of the most emotional signs.

Downtown Lights: Sun Trine Saturn: 03/14/02014

It’s grand when these two hook-up and in trine it is a total cuddle session, followed by a roll in the hay. Saturn generally like to be the little spoon, and acts as a stained glass window that lets the sun radiate through it, refracting dazzling patterns of colors on everything it touches. The sun is in the most oceanic of signs Pisces, this is the Melusine placement (the melusine is an old French folk tale about a mermaid who comes on land and lives among humans, sadly it is the image used for the Starbucks logo).  Saturn is retrograde in Scorpio, which gives deep currents to the oceanic, and galactic embrace of Pisces. If there was ever a time when imagination, could manifest reality this trine is it. Saturn’s structuring powers using Scorpio’s passion and drive takes the dreamy musings of Pisces and unites them with the tools, people, and circumstances to make ideas lived realities. If you have a project that involves others, and a bit of whimsy there will be no obstacles getting it to launch.

Anarchist Space Cowboy: Sun Conjunct Uranus: 03/31/02014

Uranus is the shock and power of the lightning bolt, and the Sun is a sustained nuclear reaction that fuses lighter elements into heavier ones. When the two unite into a white-hot union, things get thermonuclear and in the sign Aries which is all about ceaseless creativity and initiative, well let’s just say that the force that creates worlds is at our disposal. This is a time in which every eccentric and way out in left field idea will have a chance of coming into frutition and is empowered at this time. If you have an identity structure around being iconoclastic this is a time when it can be empowered to make radical real world changes whether it’s the local corner of your personal universe or a world changing innovation. This is the time of firing on all cylinders and letting the freak flag fly, the only disclaimer I would offer is this, make sure that your spontaneity does not cloud your judgment to such an extent that you forget to properly think out your strategy. This is essential, as a false start can be painful because you land right on your face. With this is mind while it may seem there is no method to your madness there is in fact, and it is genius!

March is going to be a tumble down the wormhole at super-luminal speeds, a seat belt will only tie you down and cause whiplash. The theme is surrender; the best thing to do with these turbulent times is to ride the tide with the Universe at your side.

Now why do you suppose many of the dates are prior to the 9th, it is because, and I know I harp on this, that transits do not fade away they continue to have impact well after the aspect has formed, call it the cosmic echo.

Also, you may notice the dating convention I use puts the year in five digit sequence, this is done to reflect a concept discussed by Stewart Brand who founded the  the Long Now foundation (http://www.longnow.org/). His concept is that we should be planning our culture for the next ten thousand years, changing our dating and calendrical distinctions is a fun way to get us thinking in greater time scales.

Join me  and my fellow traveler to the star nations, HiC Luttmers, for an exciting romp through the metaphysics of things: tune in Sunday March 9th, at 10:30am, and here a pretty link to click on:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/fireflywillowslive/2014/03/09/revolution-with-hic

Remember I love getting emails and I do consultations for all your Astrology quandries, contact me at: calenda.tino@gmail.com

I also post my musings to my blogs for Astrology go to: flyingpunkrockunicorn.wordpress.com

For Philosophical musings go to: theninethhouse.wordpress.com